Deep In Thought

It is now the late-early morning for me.  I've been thinking about things.  Nothing bad nor good, just simply things in general.  I'm a thinking person after all.  There isn't "much" to my thinking: life, work, love, future, past, present, finances, politics, technology, friends, challenges, opportunities, success, failure, freedom, and so on.  I'll deal with it as usual.

My sister pretty much has me beat in a hardcore match of Scrabulous on Facebook.  Scores are Jeanette: 297,and Mysef: 283.  She got lucky as hell with a 91 point word, "astonied," which really did not make any sense to me, but hey, it just goes to show you that it is never over 'till it's really over.  My winning streak comes to an end, which is probably a good thing because I have been far too cocky with that game.  My excuse for friends is that I am just a confident and competative person.

I miss Sierra a lot more than usual.  I almost feel alone for some reason, even though I'm far from it.  It is just a mental thing I am sure.  I'm probably 95% happy and optomistic.  When I get to that 5% of depression though, it can be just a minor thing where I avoid talking to people for awhile and feel jealous of other people for reasons which I can't explain.  It could sometimes be more serious where I just flat out refuse to speak to anyone, and things start to annoy me that wouldn't otherwise.  I rarely ever get angry; I can't remember the last time I was so, but I can suddenly feel really alone with no warning.  I'm not even sure if I am at this point of feeling lonely, but things like this come to mind and I evaluate myself as a person.

I think about how fortunate I am, and I never try to act depressed because there are so many other people that have much worse to worry about.  I just take life day by day.  I do not try to plan things for the future because they rarely ever work out in my life.  That does not mean I don't think about the future, I don't bother to plan as much around it.  I do this because it allows me to be more flexible (figuratively speaking.)